A BLACK Country police community officer has spoken of the domestic abuse she suffered - and is urging fellow survivors to speak out and seek support this Christmas.

The West Midlands Police employee, who works in the Black Country as a community officer, was subjected to emotional and psychological - plus regular bouts of physical abuse - throughout her two-and-a-half-year relationship with her controlling ex-husband - before finally breaking free.

Ivy - as she is being called - told how he made her life a “living hell” as he dictated who she was allowed to talk to, controlled her finances and ruled the household with an iron fist.

She was threatened with violence if she didn’t comply with his demands and was once told he’d chop off her beloved pet dog’s head if she left him.

And despite working in a police environment – with specialist officers at hand who could help – such was the stranglehold he had over her she felt powerless to speak out. 

She did eventually break her silence after more than two years and colleagues in West Midlands Police’s Public Protection Unit helped secure a court conviction against the 54-year-old for assault and a five-year restraining order.

He was also placed on probation for two years and ordered to take part in a domestic abuse offenders’ rehabilitation course.

And as West Midlands Police launches its Christmas domestic abuse campaign – a time of year that sees a spike in domestic abuse reports – she’s urging other survivors to reach out for help to stop the suffering.

She said: “I never thought I would fall victim to meeting and marrying an abuser.

"I was controlled mentally in every way possible, and was physically abused at least three times a week.

“He took my salary, constantly questioned me about work colleagues, who I spoke to, who I’d worked with that day… the usual text book questions from an abuser.

“Working a late shift used to make me feel sick inside as I knew around tea time the calls would start.

"My phone would be constantly ringing in my pocket… I had to make excuses to use the toilet so I could answer. If I didn’t he’d call the control room and ask them to put out a message to call him. 

“The impact on my work was terrible: I was often late for work because he’d hide things like my hairdryer and my boots.

"He would sit me down at breakfast and tell me what I was allowed to do that day and who I could work with.

“I had become such a good actor that no-one recognised my pain. And when I was spoken to by my manager for being late and taking too many personal calls I lied that everything was OK in my home life."

She added: “I wanted to say something but worried that if I spoke out I wouldn’t be believed and was scared and ashamed of how I would be seen in the eyes of my colleagues.

“And I felt embarrassed I didn’t see the signs in the beginning, the red flags or even trust my gut feeling after all the training I have received in my the job.

"Even now I question why I didn’t see this coming. I am a very confident, switched on woman – a ‘cute cookie’ – and I’m good at my job.”

Ivy reached breaking point after one brutal domestic beating and dialled 999 and has now taken giant strides towards a bright future.

She continued: “The police helped me through the process of taking my case to court and my husband was convicted.

"He was made to attend a domestic violence abusers course and is now bound by a restraining order meaning he can’t come anywhere near me.

“West Midlands Police, the church, along with friends, helped me through a very difficult time in my life.

“I am a survivor of domestic abuse, not a victim these days, and it feels wonderful!

"I hope my story will help other people have the courage to come forward, and know that people do care and will believe you.

"She works for the police, has specialist training to stop signs of abuse, and had support options at work all around her… but she still found it hard.

“Abuse doesn’t have to be physical. Coercive control in a relationship seeks to strip away the victim’s freedom and sense of self over a period of time.

"Our campaign slogan is ‘Control isn’t Love’ and that’s the message we want to get across. 

“People don’t have to put up with it and, as Ivy has shown, we can help people make better lives for themselves and punish and rehabilitate offenders.” 

Assistant Police and Crime Commissioner Judy Foster, who has backed the campaign and praised the community officer for speaking out, added: “Christmas can be a difficult time for many, with family pressures and tensions running high.

“West Midlands Police understands this and has specialist officers on hand to support victims and improve their lives.

“This brave officer’s story proves anyone can find themselves a victim of domestic abuse and I would urge those people not to suffer in silence but to reach out to the police for help.”

For help and support visit the West Midlands Police domestic abuse advice centre – or to report domestic abuse speak to Public Protection officers by calling 101.